In this episode: In one of the season’s most personal episodes, Jon Peyton names three lies he told himself for most of his adult life: that working harder would fix things, that sacrificing now would spare him later, and that caring more would make people understand. He explains what each one cost him and how recognizing them changed the way he works and lives.
Key insights
- Working harder or longer doesn’t fix every problem. Every extra hour is taken from something else.
- Credentials and effort don’t guarantee advancement. Experience and relationships often decide.
- Sacrificing today for a better tomorrow can leave you isolated and missing moments you can’t get back.
- Caring more doesn’t mean others will understand. Communication does.
- The world doesn’t revolve around you. Founders are the center of their company, but everyone else has a life of their own.
Episode timeline
- 0:00 Dislocation: the lies we tell ourselves
- 0:52 Speaking from experience, not giving therapy
- 2:27 Three lies Jon told himself
- 3:17 Lie one: if I just work harder, it’ll fix the problem
- 4:24 An executive MBA while working full time
- 6:36 Six applications, six final rounds
- 7:36 Why experience beat credentials
- 10:59 Why Jon started his own firm
- 12:08 Lie two: if I sacrifice now, I won’t have to later
- 15:15 “Everyone lives two lives”
- 16:05 A client’s funeral and a hard question
- 19:38 Flipping the priority pyramid
- 22:16 Lie three: if I care more, they’ll understand
- 32:21 The world doesn’t revolve around you
The episode in brief
This one is personal. Jon is clear that he isn’t offering therapy. He’s sharing what he lived through and what he learned only after looking hard at who he was and what he wanted. For most of his adult life, he told himself three lies.
Lie one: if I just work harder or longer, it will fix the problem. Jon believed that grinding would get him to the top and give his family a better life. It didn’t, and it cost him time with the people he cared about most. At a large financial firm, he completed an executive MBA in about 20 months while working full time, then added more certifications. He made the final round for six internal positions and didn’t get any of them. One vice president told him he looked great on paper, but the roles went to people with direct experience. It taught him that training from within matters, that relationships can outweigh credentials, and that he no longer wanted others to decide his results. That’s when he started his advisory firm.
Lie two: if I sacrifice now, I won’t have to sacrifice later. Long days early in his career cost him friendships and moments with his children he can’t get back. For a long stretch, he filled any empty time with more work. Then he came across a line that stuck with him: everyone lives two lives, and the second begins when you realize you only have one. Attending a client’s funeral, where the pews were full, made him ask who would show up for him. Today, when he’s with people, he’s fully there. He flipped his priority pyramid to put himself first, then family and friends, and he sacrifices only for people who would do the same for him.
Lie three: if I care more, they’ll understand. Jon still catches himself on this one. Doing more or giving more doesn’t mean someone will share your reasons or your priorities. People feel cared for in different ways, whether that’s quality time, acts of service, words, gifts or touch. A few minutes asking how someone is doing can mean more than any grand gesture. The answer is communication: explain what matters to you and why, then respect the choice the other person makes, even when it isn’t yours.
You’re not the center of the universe. For founders, the whole company really does revolve around them, so it’s easy to believe the world does too. It doesn’t. You’re living in other people’s worlds as much as they’re living in yours. Name the lies you’re telling yourself, face them, and change what they’re costing you.
Key action items
- Name your own lies. Write down the beliefs you use to justify long hours or missed moments, and test each one honestly.
- Audit an hour of work. Ask whether your extra hours produce material results, or whether someone else should take them.
- Be fully present. Choose one recurring time with family or friends where work stays off.
- Say what matters out loud. Have one conversation this week explaining your priorities to someone close to you, and ask about theirs.
Listen next: Episode 20: The Entrepreneurship Gut Check: Are You Ready?
This episode is educational and isn’t legal, tax or financial advice. Speak with your own attorney and advisers about your situation.