In this episode: Who belongs on your divorce team? Jon Peyton walks through each role, from the attorney and therapist to the divorce financial analyst, accountant, realtor and business valuation expert, and the specialists they may bring in. He also explains how the complexity of your situation determines how many you actually need.
Key insights
- In a contested divorce, the attorney is usually the quarterback, working to understand your situation and pursue the outcome you want.
- A therapist helps you, and especially your children, work through the emotional side. Children often wonder whether the divorce is their fault.
- A divorce financial analyst maps the household’s finances so your attorney and, if needed, a judge can see the full picture.
- An accountant can model the tax effects of when and how you finalize, which can affect what you keep.
- Every added professional adds cost. Let the complexity of your family, finances and household decide who you need.
Episode timeline
- 0:00 Introduction
- 0:38 Building the right divorce team
- 1:25 Player one: the attorney
- 2:20 Player two: the therapist, for you and your children
- 3:47 When children think it’s their fault
- 5:30 Therapist or financial analyst: who comes second?
- 6:25 What a divorce financial analyst does
- 8:23 Why attorneys lean on financial experts
- 9:26 Player four: the accountant
- 10:13 Jon’s own tax-timing decision
- 12:04 The realtor and your home’s value
- 12:51 Business valuation experts
- 14:17 Supporting roles: forensic accountants, counselors and more
- 14:57 Families with special needs
- 17:11 Who pays for the team?
- 20:04 Matching the team to your situation
- 20:59 One step at a time
The episode in brief
Building the right team. Your divorce team is the group of people who help you pursue the outcome you want. Which players you need depends on whether the divorce is contested, how complex your finances are, and where you are personally.
The attorney is the quarterback. In a contested divorce, the attorney leads. They work to understand your situation, your finances and your goals, then pursue that outcome using the information you give them.
The therapist supports you. After years together, your identity can feel intertwined with your spouse’s. A therapist can help you process your emotions, figure out what you want, and rediscover yourself over the next six, 12 or 24 months.
The therapist supports your children. Children need a safe place to talk about things they may not want to raise with either parent, especially if one parent speaks badly about the other. Many children quietly wonder whether the divorce is their fault. A child’s therapist can help them work through that and can share guidance with parents so the home supports them.
The divorce financial analyst maps the money. Jon compares this role to a forensic accountant. The analyst reviews the household’s balance sheet, cash flow and benefits, along with taxes and any business, then prepares a summary the attorneys can use as a baseline. That work can cover alimony, child support, dividing a business, property settlement notes, and tracing how an inheritance flowed into a property and beyond. Sometimes each spouse hires their own analyst. Whether the therapist or the analyst comes second depends on whether you’re more focused on the emotions or the money.
Attorneys aren’t financial experts. Most attorneys are excellent at law and don’t want to be financial experts. Having a financial specialist present your situation can help the other side, and a judge in a contested case, connect today’s numbers to the outcome you want for the next 10 to 40 years.
The accountant handles taxes. For simple returns, an accountant may not be essential. For business owners, complex estates or inheritances, they can explain the tax effect of the settlement and help decide when to finalize. Jon and his ex modeled finalizing in one year versus the next, and different filing statuses, and chose the option that kept their agreement intact while lowering their combined taxes. A divorce financial analyst can help with the numbers, but tax advice should come from a tax professional, just as legal advice should come from an attorney.
The realtor values the home. If your spouse’s realtor comes in low, you want your own realistic valuation to negotiate from. Both sides need to justify the value they use.
A valuation expert values the business. One spouse may want the business valued high and the other low. A credible valuation helps settle the number, whether the business is offset with liquid assets or a property settlement note paid over several years.
Supporting roles fill gaps. An accountant may bring in a forensic accountant if money appears hidden or moved offshore. A therapist may refer you to a family or child counselor. Families with special needs children may add an advocate or social worker, because those children may struggle more to understand what’s happening. Attorneys may bring in associates, or specialists to interpret prenups, postnups, buy-sell agreements or articles of incorporation.
Who pays for it? Plan how each professional will be paid, and whether the other spouse can be asked to contribute. For example, the higher-earning parent may be asked to pay for a child’s therapist so the child can come through the divorce as healthy as possible.
Match the team to your situation. Beyond the attorney, a financial analyst and a therapist are often the most important additions. Everyone else depends on how complex your family, finances and household are. Each person you add affects the outcome, and the bill.
One step at a time. Start with what’s in front of you, then take the next step.
Key action items
- Decide whether your divorce is likely to be contested. That shapes how central the attorney will be and who else you need.
- Consider a therapist early, for yourself and especially for any children.
- Get the finances organized. Gather the household balance sheet, cash flow and benefits information, or work with a divorce financial professional to do it.
- Bring in specialists for complex assets. Ask your attorney whether you need an accountant, a realtor, a business valuation expert or a forensic accountant.
- Budget for the team and ask your attorney whether any costs can be shared or paid by the other spouse.
Listen next: Episode 7: To Lawyer Up or Not to Lawyer Up
Jon Peyton previously held the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®) designation and no longer holds it. References in this episode reflect his credentials at the time of recording.
This episode is educational and isn’t legal, tax or financial advice. Speak with your own attorney and advisers about your situation.